Personal Worship

I remember during nursing school that I would miss out on youth gatherings or church-related events and parties because I was studying or doing clinicals. I recall a conversation with my dad, who encouraged me by saying that going to school was my worship to God. I would change in the church bathroom, into or out of my nursing uniform, depending on if I was going to be able to make it to part of midweek prayer and service. I experienced God during my nursing school years. I went through so much wrestling with myself as habits and attitudes were being worked on. I had to adhere to time constraints, rules, policies and regulations. Your flesh is really tested when you have to conform, as I was being told to do in nursing school. I was a free spirit, LOL! 

I say that in jest, but it was a hard reality. My friends used to call me a hippie. I was a nonconformist in church, and I was a nonconformist in nursing school. Sure, we may have our principals, but I was just straight rebellious on some points. And yet, the Father met me in such a special way during my nursing school years. He allowed me to experience some of my greatest dependency on Him through crises of faith and triumphs in glory! I find myself in a similar situation now that I am going to school to receive my master’s in nursing to become a family nurse practitioner. However, not all things are exactly the same - like me, for instance. I am a NEW CREATION! I have gone through hundreds of revolutions in this life, and I have come out stronger, healthier, and more determined than ever to please God in all I do. 

What does this all have to do with our word of the month, worship? Sometimes, worship is not doing what you want to do. It is doing what God wants you to do, even when it means giving up doing something that seems “spiritual” in nature. I am a worshiper, intercessor, prophetic minister, inner healing and deliverance minister, women’s leader, Tirzah Tribe member, blogger and missionary. Plus, on top of that, being a wife and daughter. More and more demand is being placed on my time as my "yes" to God to complete my master’s takes precedence over some of these other seemingly more spiritual roles. But I believe to be a student is holy unto the Lord. Being a student is my rational, logical, intelligent act of worship for the season that I am in. I really like the amplified version of Romans 12:1 because it captures what I am trying to say...

Romans 12:1

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies [dedicating all of yourselves, set apart] as a living sacrifice, holy and well-pleasing to God, which is your rational (logical, intelligent) act of worship.

If I chose to forego my role as a student in this season in order to do something that appears more spiritual, like continuing my house of prayer sets or serving in prophetic ministry and utilizing my effort and time into something that God has not asked me to prioritize in my life right now, I am not holy and well-pleasing to God. As much as it hurts my heart to not be more involved in the development of a Spanish ministry through worship, I had to lay it down and set my heart and mind on what God had set before me to do. Now before some of you say, wow, she is really dedicated to following God’s steps for her, hahaha! I do have my days! As I read through a 1,000-page book, I actually leaned over to check so that I wouldn’t be exaggerating how many pages my pharmacology book is, and friends it is... 1,127 pages! My goodness, I had no idea.

It is such a humbling feeling to feel your brain being taxed by new content that is above your knowledge base and you reach for the answers and search for understanding. Then I cry and thank God for the opportunity to serve Him in my learning. This is my rational service to serve the Lord with my mind in this season. I am really convinced that the Lord thinks I am smart. As I write these words, I am crying because I struggled so much in school from elementary through high school and into nursing school, and here I am getting my master’s, and I have gotten A’s in all my classes. I can now bust out 10–15-page papers every other week and a 1500-word blog once a month! WOW! God has truly renewed my mind and used everything within me for His glory. To believe what He thinks about me is a beautiful form of worship to the Creator. One of the most basic things to do is believe God, because that is worship, and it is pleasing to God.

Hebrews 11:6                                                                                                                                            But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him. 

I believe that I must move in faith in the direction that God has shown me. In this season, my path is to be diligent in my nursing program, to be excellent and to bring glory to His name. Here is the thing, my friends... I don’t know what I am going to do once I get my Family Nurse Practitioner license! Isn’t that a hoot?! I am obeying a word I believe I have heard and trusting God for the rest of the path to unfold as I walk. There is such a grace on my studies; not that it is easy, but I feel an inner strength and push driving me forward. It is supernatural. I feel God moving in me to do His perfect will in my life. Those things that I have to lay down for this season pale in comparison to knowing I am in His will. 

 Reflection:

Take a pause and reflect on an area where you have thought less of yourself. Perhaps it is with fractions or with spelling. Maybe you don’t feel you are the best public speaker or that you lack the vocabulary to express what you want to say. Maybe you feel so busy, and you think you are not the best mother. What areas of your life have you not offered to God in worship as a pleasing sacrifice? 

If we continue to agree with our thoughts about who we are and what we can do, then we are dismissing what God says about us and we are in idolatry, worshiping our own image of ourselves instead of worshiping the One who made us. Begin to confess any areas of unbelief about the existence of God in the areas that you feel are most weak and declare the risen Savior over that part of your life.

Romans 8:11                                                                                                                                   

And if the Spirit of Him Who raised up Jesus from the dead dwells in you, [then] He Who raised up Christ Jesus from the dead will also restore to life your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies through His Spirit Who dwells in you.

I started the master’s program 23 years ago. I have made 2 attempts to complete a master’s in school nursing and a master’s in nursing administration, but life happened. I stopped pursuing any higher education after my late husband passed, and believe me, I was not thinking that at almost 50 years old, it was the best time to pursue my master's, BUT GOD!

Activation: 

I love the game scrabble. Each player has 7 letters and has to make a word with what they have, starting at a letter that is already on the board. This activation won’t be so complicated, but it does involve building on words using the principle of an acrostic puzzle. Ask the Holy Spirit for a word to describe you. Then continue to build words, off of that one word, that describes you. Keep asking the Holy Spirit for more words. Get creative with it. Draw it out and use different colors so that you have a creative word piece.

Prayer:

Lord God and Creator of my soul. You know all things, and all things are in Your hand. My life and my days are in Your hands. I surrender to Your timing, Your purpose and Your leading. Forgive me for not believing what You have spoken over my destiny and purpose in Your kingdom. I want Your ways and Your thoughts towards me to be the higher place in my life. I want my life to be lived as an act of worship for an audience of One. Bring the most glory to Yourself through my life. Stir up in me those buried words and blueprints I put on the shelf. All my days are written in Your books; help me to fulfill what is written about me. In Jesus name, Amen.